Cryto! 20 February 2014
00:02:11 <iceTwy> lol, sure
00:02:33 <iceTwy> inb4 give us your address and a personal mafia squad will come and get rid of you in the most horrible way you can think of
00:05:26 <dorotea> wat
00:06:27 <dorotea> also, wat
00:06:28 <dorotea> http://www.alternet.org/video-eminem-ice-cube-and-korn-team-anonymous-call-global-revolution
00:07:14 <dorotea> ultrawat
00:08:32 <dorotea> can someone teach them how mixed-content scenarios and proportional image resizing works
00:09:37 <dorotea> I won't link to it because that's banned in here, but jeez
00:13:53 <iceTwy> python
00:13:54 <monod> "wins the one who stands where there's no war at" better change it to "LIVE the ones who stand where there's no war at" :D
00:13:56 <iceTwy> is
00:13:58 <iceTwy> beautiful
00:14:00 <iceTwy> python
00:14:02 <iceTwy> is
00:14:04 <iceTwy> beautiful
00:14:06 <iceTwy> PYTHON IS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL
00:14:12 <monod> also msg history
00:14:14 <monod> as you can tell
00:14:17 <monod> lululz
00:14:31 * monod back lurking.
00:14:45 <iceTwy> also here goes a python's skeleton
00:14:47 <iceTwy> https://twitter.com/iceTwy/status/433967980322783232
00:21:47 <dorotea> NP: [Korn - Coming Undone] [See You On The Other Side] [1065kbps] DeaDBeeF 0.6.0
00:22:46 <dorotea> seems like a good song to play while writing an essay on dependency theory
00:23:03 <dorotea> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dependency_theory
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00:30:59 <dorotea> NP: [Nero - Doomsday] [Welcome Reality] [1040kbps] DeaDBeeF 0.6.0
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00:35:52 <botpie91> 04iceTwy made 1 commit(s) to 03willie-extras on branch 10master: '02Code refactoring: step 1*Copyright and EFL license*Goodbye requests, hello willie's web.py*Proper string formatting for willie's replies*resource is now a method of ImgurClient, can be used to fetch any imgurresource*More vertical spacing in imgur() function*foul-proof => fool-proof*probably some other things I didn't mention' (https://github.com/iceTwy/willie-extras/comp
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00:47:56 <iceTwy> ^ pretty fucking satisfied w/ this commit
01:02:21 <monod> I'm in the middle of a self mind-wrestling at 2 AM :) I got to sleep now, definitely
01:02:26 <monod> see ya!
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01:03:58 <iceTwy> http://devopsreactions.tumblr.com/ is just. fucking. gold
01:04:00 <iceTwy> hahahaha
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03:59:35 <Achilles> the feds are watching
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04:09:04 <L0GZ> tell me
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04:46:48 <dorotea> we know
04:46:56 * dorotea hi feds!
04:47:00 * dorotea waves
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06:07:24 <dorotea> NP: [Kid Rock - American Bad Ass] [The History Of Rock] [959kbps] DeaDBeeF 0.6.0
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06:12:18 <dorotea> NP: [Club Des Belugas - What Is Jazz (Tape Five Remix)] [Aural Affairs vol.1 CD2] [266kbps] DeaDBeeF 0.6.0
06:46:45 <dorotea> NP: [Jay-Z - Lucifer] [The Black Album] [936kbps] DeaDBeeF 0.6.0
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12:02:32 <monod> hola
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14:36:40 <dorotea> NP: [Sublime - What I Got (reprise)] [Sublime] [963kbps] DeaDBeeF 0.6.0
14:36:55 <dorotea> soundtrack to my childhood right hurr
14:37:31 <iceTwy> joepie91: thanks for pwning this guy
14:38:41 <dorotea> .tw https://twitter.com/Aranjedeath/status/436392533577310208
14:38:42 <botpie91> What if the panopticon is inhibited by consumerism? What do we do if those forces counter eachother? (@Aranjedeath)
14:39:29 <dorotea> these are the things that keep me up at night
14:41:43 <iceTwy> oh really
14:42:08 <dorotea> basically, what if we're wrong? and I think I could make a case that we are
14:42:53 <dorotea> part of the linchpin of the panopticon is successful individuation. consumerism directly fights that.
14:43:05 <dorotea> like, head fucking on
14:44:18 <MK_FG> Everyone owning same iPhone with same angry bidrds is suddenly raging individual? ;)
14:44:29 <dorotea> absolutely
14:44:44 <dorotea> the iPhone is a symbol of false individuation :D
14:44:59 <dorotea> You're literally buying the image of individuality
14:45:12 <dorotea> ceci n'est pas une pipe
14:45:28 <MK_FG> Huh
14:45:42 <dorotea> I dunno
14:45:54 <dorotea> I haven't read foucault yet, probably will this weekend
14:45:55 <dorotea> lol
14:46:05 <dorotea> see if I'm right
14:46:07 <dorotea> :>
14:46:48 <MK_FG> I'm trying to imagine what goes through mind of iPhone buyer that corresponds to "image of individuality" and I think I'm failing
14:47:07 <dorotea> I need not look farther than "think differently"
14:47:50 <MK_FG> Um.. a stupid obsolete marketing slogan from days long gone?
14:47:51 <dorotea> buying an iPhone necessarily absolves you of a certain amount of individuation
14:48:00 <dorotea> hmm
14:48:15 <dorotea> I wonder if we could rank objects by how much individuation they inhibit
14:48:18 <dorotea> or mitigate
14:48:24 <dorotea> that would be a sufficiently fun task
14:48:31 <MK_FG> Heheh
14:48:42 <dorotea> tough, but I think worth it
14:48:53 <MK_FG> I think you risk turning into some kind of hipster ;)
14:49:00 <MK_FG> (by doing that)
14:49:01 <dorotea> pop culture would laugh, but you'd get your 15 minutes with philo cats
14:49:23 <monod> individuation =?= original, personal style?
14:49:30 <dorotea> no
14:49:37 <dorotea> becoming an individual
14:49:46 <monod> :|
14:49:48 <dorotea> It's a mental process
14:50:12 <MK_FG> I thought it was what monod said
14:50:14 <monod> so: becoming someone far from the "mass" of people, that is an independent "individual"?
14:50:33 <monod> that's so nice of you MK_FG :D
14:50:35 <monod> lulz
14:50:47 <dorotea> "In Jungian psychology, also called analytical psychology, it expresses the process in which the individual self develops out of an undifferentiated unconscious. It is a developmental psychic process during which innate elements of personality, the components of the immature psyche, and the experiences of the person's life become integrated over time into a well-functioning whole."
14:51:06 <dorotea> this is the definition I'm using
14:51:09 <monod> I hope you caught my light joke :D
14:51:15 <dorotea> yes :>
14:51:16 <monod> reading that now dorotea
14:51:25 <dorotea> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Individuation
14:51:50 <monod> self-definition-like?
14:51:55 <dorotea> sure
14:52:06 <monod> so, individuation
14:52:38 <monod> btw, just a quick link: do you all already know about http://www.codecademy.com/learn ?
14:52:44 <dorotea> I must be cynical this morning
14:52:45 <dorotea> heh
14:52:56 <dorotea> that'll go perfectly for my class in 1hr
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14:53:03 <monod> XD
14:53:08 <dorotea> (we're discussing marx's effect on the study of history)
14:53:49 <MK_FG> I've seen links to codeacademy before, but never used it myself
14:53:58 <monod> I can't understand how can you study sociopolitical things and... be a programmer? Or aren't you?
14:54:00 <dorotea> NP: [Metric - Rock Me Now] [Grow Up and Blow Away] [952kbps] DeaDBeeF 0.6.0
14:54:06 <dorotea> Why not?
14:54:10 <dorotea> they're the same thing!
14:54:23 <MK_FG> Coding can be a subclass, like cooking ;)
14:54:29 <dorotea> sure
14:54:34 <dorotea> but it's still political speech
14:54:42 <MK_FG> What, coding?
14:54:44 <dorotea> ;)
14:54:46 <dorotea> da
14:54:59 <monod> haha
14:55:00 <dorotea> maybe cooking too, but mostly coding
14:55:11 * dorotea thinks veganism, et all
14:55:17 <MK_FG> Luckily I only have slight clue as to what "political speech" is
14:55:44 <monod> MK_FG, I thought I would give it a try since they might be a possibility for me to quickly learn mainstream languages that I still haven't learned, like PHP
14:56:06 <dorotea> the reason I go to infosec conferences is the same reason I go to art galleries and study sociopolitical structures
14:56:17 <MK_FG> Yeah, don't think I've ever heard bad things about codeacademy
14:56:38 <monod> oh god, dorotea :D
14:56:46 <monod> trying to figuring it ou
14:56:47 <monod> t
14:56:58 <MK_FG> dorotea, Well, they have plenty of political speech not involving coding at those
14:57:07 <MK_FG> Like, maybe 50% these days
14:57:27 <dorotea> not that much at the ones I've been to
14:57:51 <dorotea> mostly coding as art
14:58:14 <dorotea> and as liberal arts theories
14:58:31 <MK_FG> You really must mean some other infosec stuff
14:58:42 <dorotea> nah
14:58:47 <MK_FG> Because things like defcon, shmoocon etc don't even involve coding
14:58:52 <monod> "coding as art" sounds very time expensive to me
14:58:57 <dorotea> I've never been to either of those
14:59:07 <monod> if I would do anything artistic, I would spend days and days...
14:59:09 <dorotea> I went to toorcon and hushcon
14:59:10 <MK_FG> Oh, also, good point!
14:59:20 <dorotea> yes
14:59:22 <MK_FG> I haven't actually *been* there either
14:59:24 <dorotea> that's why I don't code much
14:59:29 <dorotea> :P
14:59:32 <MK_FG> So that might be a totally different experience
14:59:49 <MK_FG> ....than judging them only by talks on youtube
14:59:54 <dorotea> the crowd I hang out with doesn't do politics
15:00:01 <dorotea> they write code all con
15:00:07 <monod> all con?
15:00:18 <dorotea> all of the conference
15:00:18 <MK_FG> conmen
15:00:20 <dorotea> all con
15:00:28 <MK_FG> all con and all fed
15:00:59 <dorotea> all con no fed
15:01:21 <dorotea> we had headhntr tho
15:01:21 <MK_FG> Why doesn't bot kick for fed these days, btw?
15:01:40 <dorotea> I'm pissed I didn't introduce myself, but I didn't know who he was
15:01:41 <dorotea> lol
15:02:12 <dorotea> https://twitter.com/headhntr <--
15:06:12 <monod> "<MK_FG> Why doesn't bot kick for fed these days, btw?" lulwhat?
15:06:28 <monod> I never get the irony if any in there
15:06:31 <MK_FG> It used to do that!
15:06:46 <MK_FG> No idea why, but it did, it was lulzy
15:09:56 <monod> o_O lol
15:10:06 <monod> very lulzy indeed O_O
15:10:52 <monod> anyway, does it mean that I'm not as intelligent as somebody else if I am poor at maths? Calculus... (calculus 2 actually)
15:11:36 <monod> because I'm really just doing that course only to prove I'm an intelligent person, but I don't have if this is the way and I've spent much energy for this....
15:11:48 <monod> and I know it sounds stupid to do something you're not sure about, but...
15:11:58 <monod> in this case I think it's comprehensible
15:15:43 <MK_FG> Dunno if "intelligent person" is even a thing
15:16:14 <MK_FG> Are good-math people best at everything that requires brain?
15:17:08 <iceTwy> MK_FG: unfortunately, yes
15:17:29 <iceTwy> well actually I'll take that back
15:17:44 <iceTwy> but if you take a look at all the big names in the different fields of maths, then yes
15:19:45 <MK_FG> Hm, interesting
15:20:49 <monod> the problem for me is that I fear that when in presence of anyone who is very good at maths, I'll just have to bow down to him... just as in "different levels of human beings"
15:21:09 <monod> so, I need to join the run for studying maths and here I am indeed.. (failing of course)
15:21:55 <monod> (and usually brings me to blaming my poor attitude in high school)
15:22:01 <MK_FG> Also, why it's "unfortunately"? Don't think I see them being evil overlords or something ;)
15:23:00 <monod> from my POV, it's like they have some power others can't have and they know this, so if any evil would come up, it'd be from this
15:23:53 <monod> I also was/am sure that everyone can "go maths", you just need someone good at teaching you them, the mindset to have when dealing with maths
15:23:58 <monod> (not only, but also)
15:24:22 <iceTwy> tbh you're not instantly good at maths
15:25:05 <iceTwy> you can be at ease with the concepts and, actually, with applying those concepts. that's what we call people that are good at maths
15:25:13 <monod> I wonder if Gauss got home-schooled, at some point, because he's said (just said, tho) to have solved a non-obvious math problem at the age of 6-7, iceTwy
15:25:37 <monod> iceTwy, yes, and that applies to many (if not any) fields, I think
15:25:43 <iceTwy> he was already solving maths problems at like 3
15:25:49 <iceTwy> but anyway
15:26:00 <iceTwy> if you work hard, it doesn't matter whether you're at ease or not
15:26:02 <iceTwy> at first that is
15:26:06 <iceTwy> you will be at ease then
15:26:29 <MK_FG> Or that's what they want you to think (so you'd work hard for nothing!)...
15:26:35 <MK_FG> Evil maths overlords
15:26:57 <monod> haha, yes, them XD
15:27:15 <monod> so what the reason for "disparity" in results would be? The amount of 'labor' one has spent on it?
15:27:18 <monod> like anything else?
15:27:21 <monod> iceTwy, ^
15:27:35 <monod> 'labor' == hard work
15:27:40 <monod> that's what I meant
15:29:58 <iceTwy> yes monod
15:30:02 <iceTwy> I do believe so
15:30:29 <monod> and why is maths so hard compared to anything else?
15:30:47 <monod> seems to be the black death, compared to anything else, if you ask around some random people
15:31:07 <iceTwy> because it pushes you to be rigorous, coherent, and absolutely critical of your methods
15:31:09 <monod> random people == people chosen at random, not people with random ideals for their lives :D
15:31:26 <monod> iceTwy, it sounds psychological
15:31:36 <monod> life if it has to do with psyche
15:31:48 <iceTwy> well, in most countries, the disparity of results in maths comes from that yeah
15:31:59 <iceTwy> there's a lot of affection associated with maths, as a subject in school
15:32:10 <iceTwy> because it's seen as THE shit that makes you intelligent or not
15:32:44 <monod> that's the point...
15:32:52 <iceTwy> well we need to get past that
15:33:06 <monod> of course, I mistakenly said "that's the point"
15:33:10 <iceTwy> but most school systems are far from achieving that, except for Scandinavian countries
15:33:10 <monod> didn't meant to :S
15:33:16 <monod> mean*
15:33:19 <iceTwy> but
15:33:20 <iceTwy> say
15:33:46 <iceTwy> you're interested in maths, and you decide to work hard and not be tricked into thinking that you're not good at maths because you don't understand things in 0.2 second like a genius
15:34:09 <iceTwy> then, just as any other field/subject, you will necessarily improve yourself
15:34:48 <iceTwy> I personally know that I hate to fail at maths because I've got a fairly enormous ego when it comes to that
15:35:05 <iceTwy> maybe as a result of the affection that we associate with maths, I'm not too sure, but I've got it anyway
15:35:30 <iceTwy> and yet I'm far from being the best at maths
15:35:55 <iceTwy> I'm pretty sure that if I put more work into maths I would be ;)
15:36:42 <monod> I still don't get it....
15:37:01 <monod> I'm hating maths
15:37:09 <iceTwy> why
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15:37:55 <monod> because it's too hard and too many things to learn (in this course, calculus 2) to get a high score (or mark?) at the exam
15:38:05 <monod> "too hard" is not exact,
15:38:13 <iceTwy> right
15:38:22 <iceTwy> because you need a good mark at the exam
15:38:29 <monod> not that
15:38:34 <iceTwy> yes
15:38:41 <monod> nope, that's a symbol
15:38:43 <iceTwy> it /is/ that: the examination process
15:39:09 <monod> for me it's like about "my level" compared to "others level"
15:39:24 <monod> but also this it's not exact too
15:39:34 <monod> because it only bothers me of one other person
15:39:38 <monod> ('s level)
15:39:53 <iceTwy> but who is that related to maths
15:39:56 <iceTwy> how*
15:40:38 <monod> I never cared for any other person who was better than me, because "inside me" I knew they hadn't some other things I had. This stuff is related to maths because the:
15:40:42 <monod> "monod> for me it's like about "my level" compared to "others level" "
15:41:01 <monod> is about a person who was/is very good at maths
15:41:09 <iceTwy> well that's just because maths is a subject where we put a LOT of examinations
15:41:26 <monod> and why is that then
15:41:35 <monod> because, again, math = intelligence
15:41:41 <monod> intelligence = superiority
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15:42:06 <iceTwy> derp
15:42:07 <monod> I'm reasoning with single words just to make it simple, even if this means wrong reasoning
15:42:27 <monod> this thing is sucking my soul
15:42:38 <iceTwy> take a look at this instead
15:42:43 <iceTwy> work
15:42:46 <iceTwy> maths ====> intelligence
15:43:03 <monod> "maths work intelligence"?
15:43:11 <monod> "maths, then work, so then intelligence"?
15:43:42 <iceTwy> yes
15:43:46 <iceTwy> rather
15:43:59 <iceTwy> should've been
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15:44:08 <iceTwy> work + learning
15:44:14 <iceTwy> sciences =========> intelligence
15:44:33 <monod> or rather: work + learning ==> intelligence
15:44:37 <monod> :P
15:44:39 <iceTwy> monod, I believe you don't hate maths
15:44:49 <iceTwy> you just hate what surrounds maths
15:44:58 <monod> yeah, maybe...
15:45:04 <iceTwy> stressful exam, the amount of work it requires to get on par with others in your course
15:45:18 <iceTwy> un-intuitive concepts that have to be understood
15:45:41 <iceTwy> that takes the fun out of maths, yes
15:45:56 <monod> this sounds very true
15:46:12 <monod> this is something a professor in my university has said to me, once..
15:46:28 <iceTwy> there's a point where, you need to realize that maths isn't about that
15:46:43 <monod> what's the X that is about that then? :(
15:46:43 <iceTwy> you need to have a personal vision of what mathematics really mean to you
15:47:08 <iceTwy> personally I see maths as a form of philosophy
15:47:23 <monod> I fear that intelligence is the main thing that has to do with school, univerisity, passing exams with no late years of university
15:47:42 <monod> but I think I'm just blindly repeating myself now, maybe
15:47:53 <iceTwy> i.e. human reason/intelligence applied to creating/finding abstract models to predict, well, everything
15:48:02 <iceTwy> yeah I think you are :P
15:48:06 <iceTwy> my point is
15:48:14 <iceTwy> try to get the stress out of this, don't think about other people's level
15:48:30 <iceTwy> and see maths for what it really is: pure, sheer beauty
15:48:42 <iceTwy> they really are*, herp
15:48:53 <monod> ok, I can separate these two concepts:
15:49:37 <monod> but: there's one thing I still can't overlook....ù
15:49:48 <monod> but I don't know how much it has to do with math
15:49:48 <monod> s
15:49:51 <monod> maths*
15:49:59 <iceTwy> what's this one thing?
15:50:09 <iceTwy> if you don't know what it is, then it's probably just the fear of not succeeding
15:50:12 <iceTwy> at university
15:50:30 <iceTwy> and, er, I'd say you're not the only one (at all) facing that fear ;)
15:51:04 <monod> and maybe all the typical failers are so because of that
15:51:12 <iceTwy> what?
15:51:14 <iceTwy> lol
15:51:16 <iceTwy> typical failers
15:51:38 <iceTwy> that's just an ugly term to say people who didn't get good grades at school
15:51:42 <iceTwy> like, a really ugly term
15:52:19 <iceTwy> you can very well not have the best grades at school
15:52:24 <iceTwy> and yet you can shine at university
15:52:31 <iceTwy> because it's a different system/way of working
15:52:43 <iceTwy> (and because it's much more interesting than general curriculums at school)
15:52:53 <iceTwy> monod: Fear. Not. :)
15:53:18 <monod> ok, but "fear of what" I'm trying to figure out, that isù
15:53:21 <monod> that is:
15:53:29 <monod> in which form am I fearing of not succeeding?
15:54:02 <iceTwy> not working enough?
15:54:10 <iceTwy> because that's the /only/ thing that will get you to fail
15:54:36 <iceTwy> (okay, besides other unfortunate events in life, but that's not the point here)
15:55:41 <iceTwy> how old are you again monod?
15:55:53 <monod> I was thinking the same thing, 21
15:56:31 <iceTwy> you aren't studying at the uni yet, right?
15:56:44 <iceTwy> a&t uni*
15:56:47 <iceTwy> at uni*, god
15:56:59 <monod> I am instead, the age is 19, just after high school which ends at 18-19
15:57:12 <monod> 5 years of uni tho
15:57:16 <monod> instead of 3
15:57:27 <monod> you should be out by 23
15:57:42 <monod> if you don't get late, like me and other people
15:57:52 <monod> I've already lost one year
15:57:59 <monod> and there's more to come
15:58:01 <iceTwy> ah, what are you studying then? maths?
15:58:08 <monod> there are* more to come
15:59:02 <monod> engineering! Because I thought I was going to program, but now, while I'm at 3rd year (2nd year if we look at what courses I'm studying now....), I've realized that an engineer is a slightly different job
15:59:16 <monod> but that's okay, I likely understood this and did not rejected it
15:59:41 <monod> that is: computer science engineers are not so bad, *it seems*
15:59:52 <monod> also, my programming idea was very naive
16:00:17 <monod> everyone told me "engineer are better than programmers, you should choose wisely which one to do now that you know."
16:00:26 <monod> this is the message I received tho.
16:00:49 <iceTwy> CS engineers are the shit
16:01:02 <iceTwy> well yeah, an engineer does just not program
16:01:10 <iceTwy> programming is really just the act of transforming an idea into code
16:01:21 <iceTwy> but then programming all day long would be boring
16:01:41 <monod> I would have never choose CS engineering if it wasn't for that cursed person who I told it's good at maths.....
16:02:01 <iceTwy> ah, got tricked by someone in your orientation process?
16:02:34 <monod> iceTwy, and one good side of CS engineers is that they program too, a little bit maybe, they just don't code everything from scratch. No, didn't got tricked, but advised
16:02:54 <monod> I was like "I really don't know where should I try" (first year of uni)
16:03:08 <monod> (actually, just before enrolling for the first year)
16:03:16 <iceTwy> yeah, that
16:03:23 <monod> and he said "I think you may do this"
16:03:29 <iceTwy> I was almost going to pick med studies because people DID NOT FUCKING KNOW what neurosciences are
16:03:37 <monod> "because you like computer, programming and it's a natural course for you"
16:03:55 <monod> my choices were not much apart tho
16:04:16 <monod> and the alternative, that of programming, seemed so odd, because of what people said
16:04:50 <monod> but not exactly
16:05:08 <monod> not because of what they said, just because of what it looked like: program and.. nothing else
16:05:15 <monod> it was just a naive idea
16:05:33 <monod> all the topic revolves around intelligence tho
16:06:00 <monod> I always thought I was intelligent, but facts don't match my thoughts...
16:06:04 <iceTwy> so r
16:06:07 <iceTwy> er*
16:06:07 <monod> I can't accomplish nearly nothing...
16:06:16 <monod> anything*, I mean
16:06:25 <iceTwy> if I'm correct, you should get a degree in CS by the end of this year right?
16:06:27 <iceTwy> (like, uni year)
16:06:41 <monod> iceTwy, it should be so, but I'm late
16:06:56 <iceTwy> well then next year
16:06:59 <monod> and I will get even more late in the future, I can almost promise you
16:07:25 <monod> subjects are to be harder the third year (which will be my 4th year probably)
16:07:46 <iceTwy> well, there's only one thing to do and you know what that is
16:07:49 <monod> while I'm here at IRC, *noone* at CS engineering has ever spent more than 1 day here..
16:07:51 <iceTwy> hard god damn work ;)
16:08:06 <monod> iceTwy, yes, and in solitude
16:08:19 <iceTwy> you're not alone
16:08:19 <monod> welcome to my life!
16:08:27 <iceTwy> stack overflow's here for youuuuuuuu
16:08:33 <iceTwy> well okay that's not fun
16:08:43 <iceTwy> why aren't you enjoying the great years of uni
16:08:55 <iceTwy> uni years are the years you've got to enjoy life
16:09:32 <monod> I don't know where the problem is....
16:10:08 <monod> I was even achieving some many progresses with psychotherapy
16:10:11 <monod> lately
16:10:17 <iceTwy> well just go to your uni and go out with friends? ;)
16:10:19 anonnews545 (anonnews54@cryto-86802B9B.dhcp-dynamic.fibreop.nb.bellaliant.net) has joined #crytocc
16:10:25 <monod> to the point that I have a date pending with a stranger girl
16:10:32 <monod> friends? not anymore!
16:10:38 <iceTwy> yes friends
16:10:49 <monod> the other thing is what I do everyday, going to uni and studying...
16:10:56 <monod> friends abandoned me!
16:11:06 <monod> and I abandoned those friends, I think
16:11:16 <iceTwy> then make some more friends, move on
16:11:25 <iceTwy> that can be a fairly challenging thing but that's the way to go
16:11:26 <monod> in the sense: "you abandoned me?? How could you?? We're not friend anymore!"
16:12:49 <iceTwy> that would've been their initial reaction..
16:13:09 <monod> it's like I did not meet anyone that interesting still
16:13:10 <iceTwy> there still is a chance to get back to them and renew those bonds
16:13:25 <monod> the problem is that there's this one person I'm talking about
16:13:52 <monod> that was my closest friend and that now I don't want him to be around me in a 1km radius
16:14:27 <iceTwy> shit does happen
16:14:33 <monod> to my eyes, it's just as:
16:14:38 <iceTwy> but afaik, in an university, there are at least 2000+ students
16:15:13 <monod> it's just as weird as if he deleted any bond with me
16:15:19 <monod> I can't explain, he moved on
16:15:26 <monod> I wasn't enough for him to pay attention
16:15:27 <monod> anymore
16:15:41 <monod> because I was a genius in his opinions, the first time we met, years and years ago
16:15:54 <iceTwy> ah
16:16:07 <monod> a friend of his saying "is he X? Is he the genius?" only because I read some "hacking" forum posts
16:16:27 <iceTwy> then move on, too, lol
16:16:44 <monod> it's like I don't feel so much of a genius
16:16:57 <monod> I think I understand it being like this, now
16:17:04 <monod> (for the first time, I mean)
16:17:28 <iceTwy> rightio
16:17:32 <iceTwy> that's stupid though
16:17:36 <iceTwy> (their reaction)
16:17:42 <monod> for the first time I think like the only thing the prevented me to move on was to not consider me so much of a genius, since the results I have
16:18:12 <monod> yeah, we had 13-14 years at the time too
16:18:24 <iceTwy> hey that was 7 years ago
16:18:32 <monod> yes
16:18:41 <monod> this story runs for 5 now
16:18:49 <monod> that is, 5 years old thing
16:18:49 <iceTwy> well heck, everyone in my school knew I was a geek
16:19:11 <monod> that's only reputation I think
16:19:24 <iceTwy> well yeah but I was cool with everyone
16:19:25 <monod> unless
16:19:43 <iceTwy> like I had no problems whatsoever with anyone, those years were super chill lol
16:19:51 <monod> I see..
16:20:00 <monod> uhm
16:20:12 <iceTwy> but still, just make friends at uni you know
16:20:25 <iceTwy> try to hang out with people in your courses
16:20:29 <iceTwy> and just have fun, know what I mean
16:20:44 <monod> it's so superficial that I enjoy more talking to a wall
16:20:52 <monod> sorry for crudity
16:20:57 <iceTwy> you think it is superficial
16:21:14 <monod> uh
16:21:15 <monod> m
16:21:17 <monod> uhm*
16:21:17 <iceTwy> but it's the basis for surviving in society and not ending up wasting yourself
16:21:37 <iceTwy> so friendships, even if they aren't THAT deep, are vital
16:21:39 <iceTwy> literally vital
16:21:57 <monod> and you see? Every intelligent person knows that and does that
16:22:15 <monod> they already knew that
16:22:17 <monod> and moved on
16:22:25 <monod> I wanted to stay with the same good friends
16:22:35 <monod> but then just couldn't because they wouldn't
16:22:44 <monod> so couldn't move on anything
16:22:55 <monod> ending up like I am now
16:23:19 <monod> I'm growing with hate for them and lots of hope for anything far from them
16:23:32 <monod> them == that person and eventually other people
16:24:03 <monod> it's like my life can't exist if I'm near he/them!
16:24:27 <monod> I'm forced to "build" my life and my relationships in places where they would never go!
16:24:57 <monod> if they'd find a job at the society I was dreaming of, I couldn't apply anymore for them
16:24:58 <monod> like
16:25:05 <monod> loggy, pointer
16:25:05 <loggy> http://wire.cryto.net/logs/crytocc/2014-02-20#T16-25-05
16:25:12 <monod> (lagging)
16:25:29 <anonnews545> it does not matter where you are, you are bringing them with you in your mind...learn to move on
16:26:10 <monod> you can't move on if they are always 10 steps ahead of you in anything you accomplish in your *life*
16:26:23 <monod> maybe the point is that this last thing is not true
16:26:36 <monod> or will not be so forever
16:26:39 <monod> imo
16:27:34 <anonnews545> maybe the point is living and let live, do what you do and let them do what they do
16:28:00 <monod> yes, but what happens when you make comparisosns
16:28:24 <monod> so, what's the solution? Maybe having something which is so much worth for you to make you overlook any comparison?
16:28:25 suller (suller@2266EB0.BF044A44.4E960128.IP) has joined #crytocc
16:28:34 <anonnews545> that means you have not centered your life on you
16:28:52 <monod> explain
16:28:57 <monod> (feel free to, I mean)
16:30:17 <iceTwy> well I gotta go
16:30:23 <iceTwy> monod we'll continue this talk tonight
16:30:39 <monod> yes maybe
16:30:45 <monod> or whenever
16:31:03 <monod> but I think I should be up tonight
16:31:20 <monod> in a sense...
16:31:28 <anonnews545> if you define your life in terms of comparison with others, you dont give a flying fuck about what you experience moment by moment, the sad, the fun, the up, the down...
16:32:12 <anonnews545> you're not centered
16:33:32 iceTwy has quit (Ping timeout)
16:33:43 <anonnews545> your life is about comparing yorself with others and what is going on in their life, how much better they have it or not have it compare to yo
16:33:51 foolex has quit (Client exited)
16:34:14 <monod> I think that this is what everyone does
16:34:16 <monod> lietrally
16:34:19 <anonnews545> nope
16:34:21 <monod> literally*
16:37:28 <monod> botpie91, tell iceTwy http://wire.cryto.net/logs/crytocc/2014-02-20#T16-33-32
16:37:29 <botpie91> monod: I'll pass that on when iceTwy is around.
16:37:55 <monod> anonnews545, I think all the point is now revolving about immaturity, mine
16:38:05 <anonnews545> many people get over it and go on living a life that is meaningful to them
16:38:36 <monod> "meaningful" it's the very right term now
16:39:11 <monod> a meaningful life, that is one life that you don't simply accept from others' rule, like "you have to do like this because it's what you have to do now"
16:39:25 <monod> but something you enjoy conducting your way
16:39:53 <monod> anonnews545, ^
16:40:49 <anonnews545> we all depend on each others, recognizing that is recognizing freedom is accepting the constraints of some rules
16:41:23 <anonnews545> choosing the rules because some of them make sense
16:42:06 <monod> I did not mean the total absence of rules, indeed
16:42:18 <monod> I'm quite rigid with rules myself!
16:42:44 <monod> it's when it comes to "lifestyle rules" that maybe they become unacceptable to me? I don't know how to say this well
16:42:52 <monod> but, I have the example
16:44:24 <monod> the scenario is: me doing my stuff and living my life; then, comes the dude with better things and better everything and I ask myself "what? What is that?"; then, when I ask him what did he do, I discover a totally different road/path to living
16:44:37 <monod> I never wanted to outshine others, first.
16:44:46 <monod> so, maybe I never looked for outshine anyone
16:44:58 <monod> so, I never looked for the surplus of benefits for me
16:45:03 foolex (foolex@5D6B0912.EC145393.9A74EEF1.IP) has joined #crytocc
16:45:35 <monod> so, maybe, when I saw him with his perfect way that gave him results over results over results, I asked myself if it wasn't good for me too to follow his steps
16:46:14 <anonnews545> you made choices, you just do not like some of the consequences...nobody has a perfect way, there is always compromises
16:46:23 <monod> the problem is that this steps are his life and I don't even know the chaos my life would have been if I wasn't following his life!
16:46:53 <monod> "anonnews545> you made choices, you just do not like some of the consequences" this could be true
16:46:58 <monod> can* be true
16:47:15 <anonnews545> it usually is...
16:47:18 <monod> I alsos tarting to think that maybe the problem was with my parents and his parents
16:47:36 <monod> like if mine were less sophisticated
16:47:41 <monod> but also... less intelligent?
16:47:53 <monod> for sure they are older
16:47:55 <monod> elder*
16:48:00 <monod> than his
16:48:08 <monod> but anyway....
16:48:25 <monod> maybe I'm just digressing and crying out like a baby now
16:49:17 <anonnews545> wherever you are, you are responsible to make the choices which will make your life happier and more meaningful, drop him, his parents, your parents...that road leads nowhere
16:49:54 <monod> ok, so let's think about this "you are responsible to make the choices which will make your life happier and more meaningful,"
16:50:01 <monod> let's concentrate on this, I mean
16:50:20 <monod> ok, so studying is one of those choices, apparently
16:50:48 <anonnews545> what is the outcome you want?
16:51:04 <anonnews545> studying is an activity, not an end
16:51:23 <monod> it's a hard question, but I'm not idling here
16:51:34 <monod> I mean, I'm thinking about it and it's hard
16:51:45 <anonnews545> yup
16:51:52 <monod> because it can't just be "I want to be happy", I would have dropped all this story looooong ago then..
16:52:16 <anonnews545> why cant it be, being happy?
16:52:35 <monod> because, all in all, I already am, in a sense!
16:52:55 <monod> I know this *may* sound strange
16:53:02 <monod> but I mean something specifical:
16:53:30 <monod> what's the problem of remaining single forever?
16:53:41 <anonnews545> none
16:53:48 <monod> I mean, nothing makes me run to get relationships
16:54:35 <monod> to get in touch with the girl that will stay with me forever
16:54:40 <monod> oh, so you mean...
16:55:04 <anonnews545> so why pursuing something you dont want? Though most people who says that really want somebody, they are just afraid
16:55:25 <anonnews545> nobody stays forever
16:55:49 <anonnews545> if they dont leave, they die
16:56:09 <monod> it's all a so called "passage"
16:56:15 <monod> everyone is of "passage"
16:56:34 <anonnews545> that is an euphemism, they die
16:56:53 <monod> "everyone is of passage" == act of passing through
16:57:01 <monod> in the physical sense
16:57:12 <monod> everyone moves into your life and then out
16:57:18 <monod> in one of the many way
16:57:22 <monod> e.g. death
16:57:27 <monod> so you mean
16:57:49 <monod> I was aiming at the wrong thing, that is something I only thought it was what I wanted, while it wasn't
16:57:51 <monod> ?
16:58:05 <anonnews545> eh?
16:58:12 <monod> rephrasing
16:58:14 <monod> it
16:59:47 <anonnews545> most people wants people who matters in their life, nothing wrong with that..we are social critters, the price to pay is that it hurts when they leave
17:00:33 <monod> uhm
17:00:38 <anonnews545> some people get hung up on the pain they experienced when somebody left, and become afraid to try again
17:01:20 <monod> and what they don't realize is that everyone is of passage?
17:01:32 <anonnews545> deal with the pain and move on...that is my two cents of pop psychology
17:02:04 <monod> but have you idea of what is the source of pain?
17:02:09 <monod> in my case
17:02:13 <anonnews545> you can realize something intllectually, does not mean you can deal with it emotionally
17:02:47 <anonnews545> I could I know that
17:03:00 <anonnews545> how could I know that?
17:03:02 <anonnews545> *
17:03:49 <monod> (by reading the previous pieces of conversation I think, unless you joined later on) ok, so another question then: how. to. deal.
17:04:05 <monod> I just have to deal with the pain and move on, you say
17:05:09 <monod> it's a pain like this: there's this A person who will ever, ever, ever be better than you, he's more intelligent than you, and you will never be in the opposite situation
17:05:11 <anonnews545> not "just", its not easy
17:05:16 <monod> "you", is me
17:06:00 <monod> when you place me near him, you see a "5 to 7" and a "10."
17:06:11 <anonnews545> I would not know, because I really dont give a fuck about somebody being smarter than me
17:06:12 <monod> and this will always be for the rest of life
17:06:44 <anonnews545> I say good for them
17:07:15 <monod> I think I understand what you say: you say "good for them, but still I have my life, and it's good"
17:07:19 <monod> "and I like it"
17:07:21 <monod> sorta?
17:08:03 <monod> I say this because this is what holds for me in every other case! Just for him this does not hold true
17:08:24 <anonnews545> not always good, sometimes its good, sometimes it sucks, but its my own unique life and I will make the best I can with it
17:08:28 <monod> and I would really know why, I would like to know of any question I could ask myself to understand why is that.
17:09:30 <monod> anonnews545, also: "the best I can with it" sounds like "limited": "I will never reach 10, but I will anyway try to achieve even 6 because I like to be alive", and I think I've got rejection for limitedness since meeting this person
17:09:49 <monod> like if he made me never settle on my own results and always wanting for more, and more, and more....
17:10:05 <monod> while this wasn't my nature, and it is not
17:10:21 <monod> (like I'm not behaving as myself)
17:10:29 <anonnews545> why do you give a shit about him to begin with?
17:10:55 <monod> I can begin with the fact that we were friends, e.g.
17:11:07 <monod> then i should tell you how much of a friend it was for me
17:11:41 <monod> it was my "friendship dream" come true, a sort of computer programmers alliance I had dreamed just before entering highschool, at 13-14
17:12:13 <anonnews545> sigh....well, he moved on...so should you
17:13:08 Zekka (zekka@Zekka.users.cryto) has joined #crytocc
17:13:21 <anonnews545> you're so stuck on that one person that it blinds you from what is here and now and the other opportunities to make other friends
17:13:21 <monod> anonnews545, I had no other friends like this one
17:13:34 <monod> yes ^
17:13:46 <monod> and I'd like to free myself from this disaster
17:13:56 <monod> I don't know how
17:14:18 <anonnews545> and you never will have somebody exactly like him, everybody is unique and irreplaceable
17:14:31 <monod> but what I have to do now
17:14:44 <anonnews545> yup
17:14:47 <monod> I don't mind if noone will ever be identical to him
17:14:54 <monod> I really don't need another X
17:15:15 <monod> maybe I just haven't met anyone who made me ring a bell in the head?
17:16:11 <anonnews545> it can take times, but it takes longer if you're hooked on the past, because you dont see what is here and now
17:16:39 <monod> one thing that is happening is that my level of acceptance of others has dropped a lot and now I start accepting people I don't even like at all...
17:18:03 <botpie91> 04FichteFoll made 2 commit(s) to 03package_control_channel on branch 10master: '02Add ExpandRegion package', '02Merge pull request #2857 from aronwoost/add-expandregion-packageAdd ExpandRegion package' (https://github.com/wbond/package_control_channel/compare/e8a4e15628...cff1ce6c4a)
17:18:11 <monod> "it can take times", to what?
17:18:18 <monod> "dealing with it" ?
17:19:13 <anonnews545> to meet somebody you click with
17:19:57 <monod> hmm
17:21:07 <monod> and what do you say about :
17:21:20 <monod> anonnews545, "<monod> one thing that is happening is that my level of acceptance of others has dropped a lot and now I start accepting people I don't even like at all..."
17:22:04 <anonnews545> people we care about and care about us are a gift, and we never know when we will meet them
17:22:04 <anonnews545> I got only 4 and one is dying of cancer
17:22:33 <anonnews545> nothing wrong about accepting people, as long as you have boundaries about how they treat you
17:24:46 <monod> maybe there's something wrong in thinking to be better than people who does not have a lowered level of acceptance of others?
17:25:03 <monod> also, wondering about "anonnews545> people we care about and care about us are a gift,"
17:25:36 <monod> I mean, I think this phrase should be payed some extra attention to
17:25:54 <monod> (than what I can at the moment)
17:25:56 <anonnews545> you seem to have a crazy system of rating people on their intelligence, like that really matters, instead of considering the quality of the relationship...better being friend with an idiot who treat you well than hanging with a "superior" being who makes you jump hoops
17:26:41 <monod> the problem is that this crazy system is what I think others use on others
17:26:48 <monod> on me, included
17:26:55 <monod> I never used it...
17:27:01 <anonnews545> what you cant seem to handle is the rejection of your friend which makes you feel less intelligent
17:27:13 <monod> yes
17:27:16 <monod> not enough
17:27:53 <anonnews545> its your problem, not his...first because you suscribe to the same system of rating people than he does
17:28:02 <monod> (like if he judged me not to be enough interesting to him (because not enough intelligent) so he hadn't any more interest)
17:29:15 <monod> "<anonnews545> its your problem, not his...first because you suscribe to the same system of rating people than he does", oh, you mean... if HE wants to judge people like that, be he free to do so, but what about how *I* want to judge others? sorta?
17:31:10 <anonnews545> we all judge people according to what matters to us
17:32:08 <monod> uhm
17:32:15 <anonnews545> when they way we judge thing makes us miserable, its time tochange our perspective
17:32:50 <monod> "they way"?
17:32:59 <anonnews545> the*
17:33:42 <monod> oh
17:34:08 <monod> you have a very clear mind
17:34:23 <monod> I just feel frenetic when I get into these conversations
17:34:36 <anonnews545> from my point of view, you are wasting your life obsessing over somebody who has move on a long time ago because what you cant deal with his the rejection
17:35:30 <anonnews545> you are not your own best friend
17:36:12 <monod> if I was to not care about his "superiority" I was to miss opportunities to improve myself, don't I?
17:36:40 <monod> wasn't* I
17:36:59 <anonnews545> you are missing on the most important opportunity, loving yourself for who you are and make the best of it
17:37:19 <anonnews545> you cannot improve what you dont love
17:37:34 <monod> but "loving myself for what I am", but what am I?????
17:37:42 <monod> I am what I know I am
17:39:02 <monod> I need your clarity
17:39:29 <anonnews545> no, you need your own clarity
17:39:48 <monod> I was just going to say "btw, maybe it will come to me when I will solve this"
17:40:12 <monod> anyway, I mean I would like to have a clear mind on this so badly
17:40:24 <monod> but the only thing I can do is not understanding anything at all
17:40:48 <monod> oops
17:40:57 <monod> "but the only thing I can do best is not understanding anything at all"
17:41:04 <anonnews545> its part of life to not know everything, even about ourselves
17:41:21 <monod> so now all the castle is falling apart
17:41:35 <monod> I thought I was going to ask myself to understand me better
17:41:52 <anonnews545> get a pet or a plant and start taking care of it
17:42:14 <monod> this is cruel
17:42:23 <anonnews545> why?
17:42:39 <monod> because I already knew about this fact, but I really couldn't even take care of any of those two
17:42:52 <monod> not that I'm not able to
17:42:56 <monod> or willing
17:43:16 <anonnews545> that is contradictory
17:43:30 <monod> I "am" so bad that I can't have anything
17:43:53 <anonnews545> a cactus is really low maintainance
17:44:39 <anonnews545> learning to care about something living will teach you about caring about yourself
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17:45:14 <monod> will teach me what it takes in life to take care of living things?
17:45:17 <monod> beings*
17:46:18 <anonnews545> living things are not like computers, you cant "solve" them...its not intellectual
17:46:42 <anonnews545> you just learn to do what it takes to nurture them
17:47:09 <anonnews545> which teach you the basics to nurture you
17:47:45 <anonnews545> you're trying to think your way out of your problems, it does not work that way
17:47:56 <monod> and is this going to help me move on with that problem?
17:48:47 <anonnews545> its a step...at least you will have to stop for a sec obsessing about him to water your plant or feed your goldfish
17:49:33 <anonnews545> my best friend is dying but I still have to walk the dogs
17:50:39 <monod> for a moment I thought you were the same person I was talking about, you know?
17:51:14 <anonnews545> well, I am not
17:51:27 <monod> anyway
17:53:11 <anonnews545> yes?
17:53:20 <monod> lots of thoughts
17:53:27 <anonnews545> too many
17:55:08 <anonnews545> intelligence is overrated, it makes people believe they can solve everything by thinking long enough about it
17:55:44 <monod> how old are you?
17:55:49 <monod> if you can tell
17:55:55 <monod> otherwise, I'm sorry
17:55:55 <anonnews545> old enough :P
17:56:12 <monod> and in years ranges?
17:56:51 <anonnews545> somewhere in between 20 and 100 yo...depends on how I feel that day
17:57:29 <monod> ok
17:58:27 <monod> you resemble him too much
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17:58:40 <anonnews545> this network is fairly new, no?
17:59:05 <monod> not so much, 1+ year for sure
17:59:21 <monod> plus, he does not use IRC so often
17:59:39 <anonnews545> yea, I was trying to find the irc addy
17:59:49 <monod> addy?
17:59:55 <anonnews545> address
18:00:22 <anonnews545> to add on my irc cleint
18:00:25 <anonnews545> client
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18:01:47 <monod> can you understand what a "joke" on me would it be if you were him
18:01:59 <monod> anonnews545, ^
18:02:16 <monod> and I'm also sorry for this paranoidness
18:03:00 <anonnews545> well, I am not him, and I am not even a him
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18:03:42 <monod> this last thing sounds very hard to believe, but you can see how lost I am
18:03:57 <monod> so please, just consider this fear...
18:04:15 <monod> and now I think I'll try and shut paranoid's door
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18:05:42 <anonnews545> okay...gotta run
18:05:44 <monod> oh
18:05:46 <anonnews545> bye
18:05:47 <monod> can we
18:05:52 <monod> keep in contact later?
18:06:01 <monod> another day, in the future
18:06:10 <monod> whenever it will be
18:06:24 S1renide has quit (User quit: Connection closed)
18:06:28 <monod> and thanks
18:06:38 <anonnews545> mmmm...if I drop by...sure
18:06:44 <monod> ok thanks
18:06:45 <anonnews545> yw
18:06:53 <monod> have a nice day
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18:19:28 <monod> I'm not the best advertising for a coding collective channel
18:41:18 iceTwy (iceTwy@iceTwy.users.cryto) has joined #crytocc
18:47:20 <monod> me and anonnews545 talked a lot, iceTwy
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19:05:36 <complex> i guess most of you are aware, but: https://firstlook.org/theintercept/
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20:52:57 <anonnews423> ??
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21:00:11 * anonnews423 slaps ox1 around a bit with a large fishbot
21:00:24 * anonnews423 slaps botpie91 around a bit with a large fishbot
21:00:30 * anonnews423 slaps MK_FG around a bit with a large fishbot
21:00:32 * anonnews423 slaps SpaghettiCode around a bit with a large fishbot
21:00:35 * anonnews423 slaps ^Xires around a bit with a large fishbot
21:00:39 * anonnews423 slaps achus around a bit with a large fishbot
21:00:42 * anonnews423 slaps aHlTat around a bit with a large fishbot
21:00:44 * anonnews423 slaps anonnews423 around a bit with a large fishbot
21:01:20 * achus slap fishbot with a hammer
21:01:56 * anonnews423 slaps achus around a bit with a large fishbot
21:02:04 * achus slap fishbot with a hammer
21:02:43 * anonnews423 slaps achus around a bit with a large fishbot
21:02:49 * achus slap fishbot with a cannon
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21:06:16 * anonnews423 slaps achus around a bit with a large fishbot
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21:43:35 <botpie91> 04joepie91 made 3 commit(s) to 03Envoy on branch 10develop: '02Update schema to have a numeric ID for log entries, to facilitate range selection', '02Bugfixes, and first naive implementation of log entry retrieval', '02Fixes and special case' (https://github.com/KnightSwarm/Envoy/compare/c32c965e1e...cdee6c93e5)
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21:46:07 <complex> yo guys
21:46:33 <complex> do anyone here has a relatively stable, pleasant smell of their fart? (serious question)
21:47:21 <complex> sometimes i get this nasty diarrhea smell of my fart. its awful, and i wonder if it is what i eat or something else
21:52:02 <complex> well, i should respect this channel more. im sorry for being a douche
21:56:13 <iceTwy> so like
21:56:14 <botpie91> iceTwy: 16:37Z <monod> tell iceTwy http://wire.cryto.net/logs/crytocc/2014-02-20#T16-33-32
21:56:18 <iceTwy> fucking sweet
21:56:19 <iceTwy> http://spdycheck.org/#icetwy.re
21:56:40 <iceTwy> nginx has finally implemented spdy3.1
21:56:40 <iceTwy> cc dorotea ^
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23:46:03 <botpie91> 04FichteFoll made 4 commit(s) to 03package_control_channel on branch 10master: '02Add package info', '02Use proper label', '02Fix "author" or "details" field required', '02Merge pull request #2859 from tralamazza/masterOpenScad language syntax' (https://github.com/wbond/package_control_channel/compare/cff1ce6c4a...8cec7229b9)